Can't Escape Prematurity

In the NICU, it always seemed like Camdyn and Cade were battling for attention.  Cade would require more oxygen, so Camdyn would top that with a collapsed lung.  Then Cade developed a pneumothorax (air pocket in his lung) which had to be drained.  It went on and on like this for their entire NICU stay.  

They must still have a little of that battle left in them.  Camdyn is scheduled for ear tube surgery and getting her adenoids removed tomorrow morning.  Brenna has had ear tubes and adenoids removed too as well as her tonsils.  The ENT visit to talk about getting ear tubes for Camdyn was her first "normal" specialist appoinment if there is such a thing.  It's not a cardiologist or pulmonologist or any other "-ologist" that she saw due to her prematurity.  I can't pin this on prematurity since a lot of kids get ear tubes, and even my full-term kid has had this done.  This is just a normal kid thing.  Although I must admit, I'm still scared about her going under anesthesia. 

Since Camdyn was getting all the attention, Cade decided he needed some too.  He has developed bronchiolitis.  He sounds awful.  I looked it up online and it said, "It most frequently occurs in infants, commonly younger than 6 months of age."  I guess it should also say "and big, nearly 3 year old boys who were on ventilators for 5 weeks who required nitrous oxide treatments and who had a pneumothorax."  It went on to say, "In some cases, especially if your child has an underlying health problem or is a significantly premature newborn, bronchiolitis can become severe and require hospitalization."  Oh, great!  That doesn't sound too promising for us since he is just about as "significantly premature" as you can get.  On a positive note, he isn't a newborn; he is a big, strong boy even if his lungs haven't gotten the memo.  I should have learned my lesson from back in our NICU days to not google things.  It is always worse online.  Cade has definitely had his share of lung issues including pneumonia, several upper respiratory infections, and now bronciolitis.  Overall, he does really well.  For those who have been reading for a while, you may remember we were told he may need a tracheostomy for life.  I am so thankful that he can breathe well most of the time. 

I feel oddly similar to the days I spent sitting between their isolettes in the uncomfortable vinyl hospital chair wondering who required my attention the most at that moment.   I will be with Camdyn during her surgery tomorrow while Daddy stays home to care for Cade.  Just when I think we have moved on to "normal kid" stuff like ear tubes, I am struck with the realization that we can't escape prematurity.  Well, I'm off to do a breathing treatment for Cade now and pack a few things for Camdyn's surgery tomorrow. 

Happy Birthday Brenna!

It's hard to believe that my baby girl turned 6 today.  I still vividly remember those chubby cheeks of hers, and now she is all skinny arms and legs that go on forever.  Her party isn't until Saturday, so she was a bit confused when I told her that she wasn't having a party today.  She said, "but it's my birthday, right?"  To a 6 year old, "birthday" means one thing and that's "a party".  It does not mean the day you were born and all that sentimental remembering like it does for mom.

Here's Brenna before school this morning.  She was so excited to go to school on her birthday because she knew she would get to wear a birthday hat, be the line leader, and all the other special things that being the birthday kid entails.
 

 Brenna is the sweetest big sister (to Camdyn that is).  She is always helping her and looking out for her.  It's very sweet.  On the other hand, she is usually yelling at Cade to leave her stuff alone which he rightly deserves.

I went to Brenna's school to eat lunch with her for her birthday.  She and her best friend share the same birthday, so they both got to sport the cool birthday hats.  

She had a great day today, and I know she is excited about her party this weekend.  The only bad part of her day was twisting her ankle in her tumbling class after school.   I'm praying when she wakes up, it is better.  Even with a hurt ankle, we enjoyed the evening eating spaghetti and making a birthday cookie cake.  

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When Brenna's birthday rolls around each year, I reflect back to the time she was born as I'm sure most mothers do on their child's birthday.  I can remember going out to eat before checking into the hospital.  It was scheduled since she didn't want to come out on her own even past her due date.  We had an enjoyable dinner and then checked in.  I had a bag packed and was ready to deliver a healthy baby girl.  The delivery was not ideal due to her swallowing meconium.  Although it felt like a long time, that was quickly resolved, and my baby girl was put in my arms.  Her daddy and I marveled at her beauty and took lots of pictures.  Aside from the meconium, it was a fairly normal birth.  I'm able to look back on it as one of the best days of my life . . .

which brings me to the opposite side - the twins' birth.  Their birthday is approaching in April.  For the last two years, I have cried on the days leading up to their birthday as well as on the actual day.  I think it may be easier this year since they are older and doing so well, but the memories remain.  The memories of insurmountable fear and heartache and worry and helplessness and more fear.  The fear on that day only led to more fear and worry for the 4 1/2 months they spent in the NICU.  Just as I look back on Brenna's birthday as being one of the best days of my life, I look back on Camdyn and Cade's birthday as being the worst day of my life, and it feels so all mixed-up.  I hope I can surprise myself this year by feeling only joy that my one pound babies will be turning 3.

Lots to Say

Camdyn and Cade are both talking so much more now.  I am absolutely loving their new language skills.  They both have a lot to say.  Here are a few of my favorite phrases/stories:

They ask for "cookie horsies" and "nola baas" all the time.  For those who don't speak their language, that is animal cookies and granola bars.

They both ask for "ugg-kiss" before bedtime which is the sweetest thing ever! (a hug and a kiss)

Camdyn is constantly twirling around or flipping while telling me "wook Mommy".

They both love watching the construction on the new house next to us.  They look out the window and constantly ask me, "What the mans doin'?"  I told Cade they were working.  He looked at me and said, "nooo - mans playin'"  To a two year old boy, building a house equals playtime.

Cade's preschool teacher was showing him a picture of her 16 year old son on her keyring.  She explained to him that was her baby just like he was mommy's baby.  She said he looked at her like she had lost her mind and told her, "That not a baby - that a MAN!"  I think it crushed her a little bit for her baby to be called a man.

I was singing "Mommy's little baby is Camdyn, Camdyn" to the tune of "Shortnin' Bread".  She stopped me right there with a very serious look to tell me, "my not a baby".  I then turned to Cade and said, "Can you be Mommy's baby?"  He frankly told me, "no, I a big boy."  What?  I had twins; can't one of them agree to being my baby?  Brenna told me she would be my baby, so I felt much better to have at least one "baby".

Camdyn's crib faces a window, and Cade's is on the other side of the room against the wall.  I heard them talking one morning across the room.  Cade kept asking Camdyn, "Hey, Cammy, what you lookin'?"  She wasn't giving him any information so he kept on asking.

Another morning I heard them talking across the room from their cribs.  The conversation went like this:

Cade: "Cammy, what you want eat?
Camdyn: "my want cookie"
Cade: "OK - (chomp, chomp, chomp noises) . . . I eat you cookie"
Camdyn: "noooo bubba - my cookie"

Ha!  He was tormenting his sister even from across the room in the confines of their cribs with an imaginary cookie.  Poor Camdyn!

Cade has recently begun to tell stories - sort of.  He starts, "One day - (mumble, mumble)" and then repeats "one day - . . ."  on and on and on.  

When Camdyn was having trouble with speech, she wouldn't really tell me "I love you" but I knew that her sweet kisses meant it.  After she gave me a kiss, I would tell her "I love you too baby." Now, when I give her a kiss, she tells me "wuv oo too Mommy!"  It truly melts my heart.

 

"Celebrating Every Preemie Milestone"

My guest post for this month, "Celebrating Every Preemie Milestone" is up on www.preemiebabies101.com.  You can click here to read it.  I wrote about how, as preemie parents, we celebrate each little milestone with a deep appreciation.  Please leave a comment over there and tell other preemie parents about what achievements you have celebrated with your preemie.

We've had worse; we'll have better!

Yesterday was a crazy day!  Over the weekend Camdyn had been telling me "ears hut" and "mouth huts".  I put some ear drops in her ears and waited to make an appointment on Monday.  On Monday, Brenna began telling me her throat hurt.  My mom was here, so she watched Cade while I took the girls to the pediatrician.  Brenna tested positive for strep throat again.  I thought she would be getting strep throat less frequently since she had her tonsils removed, but it still pops up often.  The doctor confirmed that Camdyn had a double ear infection and probably strep too although she spared her from getting swabbed since the antibiotic would cover it anyway.  

I was told to make an appointment with the ENT for Camdyn to discuss getting ear tubes placed.  She's had 5 ear infections since last April.  Brenna has had tubes placed twice.  I remember being so nervous/scared when Brenna had her first set of tubes placed at two years old.  This was, of course, before I had the twins.  While I will still worry about Camdyn going under anesthesia if tubes are necessary, it seems so trivial compared to what she has already been through.  Every situation is relative to what you have experienced.  I'll give an update after we hear from the ENT.

When I got home with my sick girls, my mom showed me Cade's head.  He was running with socks on across our tile floor and slipped.  He hit his head hard causing a gash in the back of his head about 3/4 inches long.  She had already cleaned and iced it.  We thought it would probably scab over soon.  I went to teach dance classes.  Jim called me at the dance studio when my classes were over to tell me I needed to come home to take Cade in to the hospital.  His cut was not scabbing over and was still bleeding.  Jim stayed home with the sick girls while Cade and I headed to the ER.  They numbed the area and then put three small staples in his scalp.  He didn't even cry!  I think he has an amazing tolerance for pain built up from his NICU days.  My mom said he only cried for a little bit after the fall.  When you ask him what happened to his head, he simply says, "I bumped" as if it is no big deal.

Here's my amazingly tough big guy at the ER.  The bandage is holding the numbing pad on the back of his head.  It looks like it is doing a much more serious job than holding cotton on his head.  I think he looks so cute here.

Oh yeah, and while I was at work and Jim was watching the sick girls and Cade with an open gash in his head, our septic system was malfunctioning.  He was dealing with all of that plus a broken septic system! 

And even with two cases of strep throat, a double ear infection, a trip to the ER, staples in the head, possible ear tube placement coming up, and a broken septic system, I'm thankful.  I know it could be so much worse.  That's what having babies 16 weeks early does to you.  I've tried to explain many times how my perspective about everything has changed since their very early arrival.  This is a pretty good example of that.  Just like Cade's simple explanation of staples in his head as "I bumped" we just had a bad day.  We've had worse, and we'll have better!

For the record, the girls are feeling much better today.  Camdyn still tells me "ears hut".  When I ask Cade if his head hurts, he tells me "no, it hut last week".  He means yesterday, but lately everything in the past is "last week".

Christmas 2012

Yes, I realize that it is almost the end of January, and I'm just now blogging about Christmas.  To my credit, I did try but blogger was down again.  Christmas feels like so long ago now that Valentine's decorations surround you as you walk into any store.

This Christmas was so much fun.  Camdyn and Cade were old enough to really enjoy opening "pwesents" and were so excited about everything they opened. 

Elfie, our Elf on a Shelf, left the kids these cute elf pajamas.  I think they look so adorable in them.  They've been wearing them long past Christmas!

Cade got a new train table and trains.  He is concentrating so hard to get those trains all lined up.

Brenna helped Grandma make mashed potatoes.

Cade loves playing with phones or any electronic device.  His cousin, Blake, is showing Cade something on his phone.

I love this picture below of me and the girls.  I was holding both of them on my lap.  We were tickling Camdyn to get her to smile.

Daddy assembling Brenna's new Barbie house.  The things daddies do for their little girls!

Brenna's New Style

Not long ago, Brenna was convinced she was turning into Rapunzel.  She told us she was never going to cut it!  You can imagine my surprise when this conversation occurred one morning before school as I was doing her hair:

Brenna: "Owwww, Mommy.  You're hurting me!"                   (add in some more whining and complaining as I am brushing her hair)

Me:  "Brenna, you have tangles just like Rapunzel.  The only way you won't have tangles is if you cut it all off."

Brenna: "Yeah, let's do that then."

What?!  That wasn't really my point at all.  I was completely shocked she said that.  She continued to tell me she wanted short hair.  I told her about Locks of Love and how she could send her hair in to help make wigs for kids with cancer.  I explained to her that some kids are so sick that they lose all of their hair.  By this point, she had made up her mind to cut her hair.  When I asked her if she was sure she wanted to cut it, she told me, "Yeah, I need to give it to the kids with the sickness."  I thought that was very sweet.

The picture below was taken at her school Christmas party.  They made reindeer antlers using their handprints and one of the moms drew red Rudolph noses on all the kids.  So cute!  This was her last day of long hair before her hair cut that afternoon.

My mom is a hair dresser so we headed over to Nanny's house after school for the big cut. 

Her new short hair with her natural curl.

I love her new cut when I dry it straight and curled under in a little bob.  I think it looks so cute.  I wasn't prepared for how much older she would look with her new hair style.  She is holding her long ponytail here.  It was 10 inches pulled straight!  We are having way fewer tears when getting ready in the morning.  She loves her new short hair.