School Easter Egg Hunts

Today was the day for school Easter egg hunts.  I went to Camdyn and Cade's school first to watch them hunt eggs and then headed to Brenna's school for their Easter egg hunt.  I was glad that they were at different times so I could go to both.

Cade was more interested in riding the tricycle than looking for eggs.

 

Camdyn liked collecting eggs for her basket.

  That's my little diva posing for the camera with her Easter basket.

Their teacher gave them confetti eggs.  They weren't sure what to do with them until their teacher told them they could crack them with their fingers.

She then told them to pour it on their head or their friend's head.  Cade chose to put his on Camdyn.  It doesn't look like Camdyn liked it from the picture, but she thought it was really funny.  Cade did too.  He said, "That was FUN!"

 

Camdyn wanted to crack hers on her own head.

I had to show her this picture to show her that the confetti was in her hair.  I asked her if she thought it looked pretty, and she agreed that it did.  

 

What could be cuter than a class of 2-3 year olds lined up with their Easter baskets?

Well, maybe a class of kindergarteners wearing bunny hats they made themselves.  It's a tough call.

Brenna loved hunting eggs with her class, and she loved that I came to watch.  I'm going to miss this when she doesn't want me to come to school anymore for her class activities.  I asked her last night if she wanted me to come watch her hunt eggs at school.  Then I told her I was going to wear my best Easter dress and Easter hat and I would bring my Easter basket and hunt eggs with her friends.  She got this really worried look on her face and told me she didn't think moms were allowed to do that.  It was so funny because she was trying not to hurt my feelings.  I went on and on about how excited I was to get dressed up to hunt eggs at her school and how I would wear a big Easter hat.  Finally she realized I was joking and said, "Mommy, you're so silly.  You can't hunt eggs.  You're big.  But you can come and just watch all the kids."

Room Air

Not that long ago, I can remember asking myself, "Will I ever get over it?"  Their prematurity, that is.  I still don't know the answer to that question, but I feel a sense of relief that the thought no longer plagues me like it once did.  I still think about their prematurity every single day, and I am not exaggerating.  It's usually just a fleeting thought sweeping its way in to my consciousness and then quickly dissipating.  Rather than causing a post-traumatic feeling (which does still happen on occasion), the thoughts instead serve as reminders of how far they have come and how blessed we are.  I never thought I would say this, but I rather welcome the thoughts now.  How many people are reminded every day how lucky they are?  I can honestly say that I am.

Take last night for example.  We took the kids out to eat pizza.  We sat outside and watched the kids run and play together as we waited for our food.  Here's a look inside my head at that moment, "Thank you Jesus that they can run.  Wow!  We are so lucky."  Then back to normal.  "Cade, don't poke that stick at your sisters.  Kids, come back closer to the table!"

Later the pizza arrives.  The kids come running to the table.  "My want pizza!" Camdyn asserts.  "I hung-wee," Cade adds.  We load the kids plates, and watch as they scarf down the pizza.  Camdyn eats 2 whole pieces - as much as Brenna.  Cade eats 2 whole pieces plus 2 rolls!  Once again in my head, "If I could have only seen this when we were tube feeding them, when Camdyn took 45 minutes to drink 1 oz of milk every single time, when Cade gagged on everything that touched his mouth, when I made myself sick with worry about getting a g-tube for Cade, when we fed Cade drops of milk from a syringe to get him used to the idea of anything in his mouth, when I felt completely out of control not being able to feed my kids."  And now, it is so easy.  I ask Jim, "Did you ever see this happening?"  He answers that he could always see it.  He always is more optimistic than I.  I couldn't say the same.  I didn't always see it.  I had no idea if Cade would be devouring pizza or still be tube fed at age three.  In preemieland, nothing is certain.

So, will I get over them being born 16 weeks early and enduring a 4 1/2 month hospital stay full of scary news and endless fear?  Probably not.  Fortunately, for me, the memories feel different now.  To make a preemie comparison, I felt like I was on a ventilator for their first year.  I pushed through fighting for a chance to come up for air.  The first year was loaded with uncertainty and struggle.  By year two, I had moved to CPAP and eventually cannula.  Breathing became easier, but I was still fighting - fighting for therapy, fighting insurance, and fighting my fears.  Now as we are approaching year three, I finally feel like I am at 21% (threw that one in there for all you preemie moms out there who know exactly what I'm talking about.)  It's room air - what we all breathe.  I'm there folks; I'm at room air! 

 . . . And because no preemie comparison is complete without a few lasting effects.  Every now and then, we still break out the old nebulizer when times get tough, but we know that room air is just around the corner.

Surgery Updates & More

Camdyn's surgery went really well.  I knew it was a common procedure, so I didn't stress about it too much.  It wasn't a heart surgery at 10 days old when she still weighed under 2 lbs.  It wasn't collapsed lungs or brain bleeds.  I knew all of this, but I still cried like a baby when they took her away.  I kept a strong happy face while she waved at me from her little red wagon.  Once the nurse pulled her around the corner, the tears came.  I'm sure it had a lot more to do with post-traumatic stress than this actual surgery.  It didn't help that Daddy couldn't be with us because he was at home taking care of Cade's bronchiolitis.  

After about an hour, they brought her back to me.  We got in a lot of great cuddling.  Look at that sweet face.  She woke up after about an hour, and we were sent on our way.  She recovered very quickly.  She has had drainage for the past few days, but otherwise, she is doing great.

Because my kids have made a secret agreement to cause Mommy and Daddy the most possible stress they can all at one time, we also found ourselves at the orthopedist just a couple of days after Camdyn's surgery.  Brenna twisted her ankle in tumbling class, and it stayed swollen for a couple of days.  When the swelling wasn't going down, we decided it was time to see if it was more than a minor injury.  The orthopedist thinks it is a small fracture along the growth plate, but he couldn't see it in an x-ray.  He decided the best thing to do was to cast it, so she gets to sport a hot pink leg cast just a few months after she sported her hot pink arm cast.  We are now boosting up the calcium intake around here!

And even with all of that going on, Cade is still the sickest of the three.  I took him back for a follow-up because he is still coughing a lot and sounds pretty bad.  He has developed an ear infection on top of the bronchiolitis.  We are still doing nebulizer treatments every 4 hours .We are hoping the antibiotic will knock out the infection part of this quickly and the virus part of this will pass quickly too.  He does sound much better overall.  I hope my next post will include that all 3 are well.

P.S.  My guest post for this month is up on www.preemiebabies101.com.

Brenna's Ariel Party

Brenna  had an awesome mermaid party for her 6th birthday.  She is in love with Ariel right now, so it was the obvious choice for the theme of the party.  I loved creating the games and craft activities to go along with the mermaid theme.  She was so excited to get to celebrate with all of her friends.  We had 19 kids!

When all the guests arrived, the first activity was dress-up.  I set up the mats in the dance studio to create a dressing room.  The girls felt like movie stars getting dressed in their dressing room.

Camdyn showing off her princess attire with a little diva twist.

 Here is the finished product with all these little princesses looking fabulous!

Then it was time for "Pin the Tail on the Dolphin".  Since Jim is more artistic than I, he cut out a dolphin shape and lots of little tails.  Brenna is such a sweet helper.  She is helping Camdyn here.

Our next activity was making treasure boxes since Ariel loved finding treasures.  I bought gift boxes, laid out stickers, glitter paint, and markers, and let the girls create their own treasure boxes.

Once we had treasure boxes, it was time to fish for our treasures.  Again, I set up the mats to serve as the water, and Daddy supplied fishing poles.  The kids loved this game!  When they "caught" their treasures, they put them in their treasure boxes.

I loved how the starfish hair clips turned out.  We made one for each girl.  I was able to buy the starfish at a craft store.

We then had a little island fun with a game of limbo.  It was fun to watch all of them try so hard to clear the limbo stick.  Camdyn won, but I think she had a little unfair advantage.  Hey, you've got to use that prematurity in your favor when you can, right?  Being tiny works really well for limbo.

Brenna's Aunt BB made this super cute and super yummy Ariel cake.  I'm trying to soak up all of these princess-themed parties while I can.  I know it won't be long before she wants to go just hang out at the mall with her friends.  Tear!  My baby is growing up too fast.

Look how cool the cake was from the inside.  Aunt BB made it look like a beautiful ocean!

It was a wonderful party.  It usually doesn't take long for Brenna to start planning her next year's birthday.  For now, I'm on to planning the twins' birthday party.  Can they really be turning 3?

Can't Escape Prematurity

In the NICU, it always seemed like Camdyn and Cade were battling for attention.  Cade would require more oxygen, so Camdyn would top that with a collapsed lung.  Then Cade developed a pneumothorax (air pocket in his lung) which had to be drained.  It went on and on like this for their entire NICU stay.  

They must still have a little of that battle left in them.  Camdyn is scheduled for ear tube surgery and getting her adenoids removed tomorrow morning.  Brenna has had ear tubes and adenoids removed too as well as her tonsils.  The ENT visit to talk about getting ear tubes for Camdyn was her first "normal" specialist appoinment if there is such a thing.  It's not a cardiologist or pulmonologist or any other "-ologist" that she saw due to her prematurity.  I can't pin this on prematurity since a lot of kids get ear tubes, and even my full-term kid has had this done.  This is just a normal kid thing.  Although I must admit, I'm still scared about her going under anesthesia. 

Since Camdyn was getting all the attention, Cade decided he needed some too.  He has developed bronchiolitis.  He sounds awful.  I looked it up online and it said, "It most frequently occurs in infants, commonly younger than 6 months of age."  I guess it should also say "and big, nearly 3 year old boys who were on ventilators for 5 weeks who required nitrous oxide treatments and who had a pneumothorax."  It went on to say, "In some cases, especially if your child has an underlying health problem or is a significantly premature newborn, bronchiolitis can become severe and require hospitalization."  Oh, great!  That doesn't sound too promising for us since he is just about as "significantly premature" as you can get.  On a positive note, he isn't a newborn; he is a big, strong boy even if his lungs haven't gotten the memo.  I should have learned my lesson from back in our NICU days to not google things.  It is always worse online.  Cade has definitely had his share of lung issues including pneumonia, several upper respiratory infections, and now bronciolitis.  Overall, he does really well.  For those who have been reading for a while, you may remember we were told he may need a tracheostomy for life.  I am so thankful that he can breathe well most of the time. 

I feel oddly similar to the days I spent sitting between their isolettes in the uncomfortable vinyl hospital chair wondering who required my attention the most at that moment.   I will be with Camdyn during her surgery tomorrow while Daddy stays home to care for Cade.  Just when I think we have moved on to "normal kid" stuff like ear tubes, I am struck with the realization that we can't escape prematurity.  Well, I'm off to do a breathing treatment for Cade now and pack a few things for Camdyn's surgery tomorrow. 

Happy Birthday Brenna!

It's hard to believe that my baby girl turned 6 today.  I still vividly remember those chubby cheeks of hers, and now she is all skinny arms and legs that go on forever.  Her party isn't until Saturday, so she was a bit confused when I told her that she wasn't having a party today.  She said, "but it's my birthday, right?"  To a 6 year old, "birthday" means one thing and that's "a party".  It does not mean the day you were born and all that sentimental remembering like it does for mom.

Here's Brenna before school this morning.  She was so excited to go to school on her birthday because she knew she would get to wear a birthday hat, be the line leader, and all the other special things that being the birthday kid entails.
 

 Brenna is the sweetest big sister (to Camdyn that is).  She is always helping her and looking out for her.  It's very sweet.  On the other hand, she is usually yelling at Cade to leave her stuff alone which he rightly deserves.

I went to Brenna's school to eat lunch with her for her birthday.  She and her best friend share the same birthday, so they both got to sport the cool birthday hats.  

She had a great day today, and I know she is excited about her party this weekend.  The only bad part of her day was twisting her ankle in her tumbling class after school.   I'm praying when she wakes up, it is better.  Even with a hurt ankle, we enjoyed the evening eating spaghetti and making a birthday cookie cake.  

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When Brenna's birthday rolls around each year, I reflect back to the time she was born as I'm sure most mothers do on their child's birthday.  I can remember going out to eat before checking into the hospital.  It was scheduled since she didn't want to come out on her own even past her due date.  We had an enjoyable dinner and then checked in.  I had a bag packed and was ready to deliver a healthy baby girl.  The delivery was not ideal due to her swallowing meconium.  Although it felt like a long time, that was quickly resolved, and my baby girl was put in my arms.  Her daddy and I marveled at her beauty and took lots of pictures.  Aside from the meconium, it was a fairly normal birth.  I'm able to look back on it as one of the best days of my life . . .

which brings me to the opposite side - the twins' birth.  Their birthday is approaching in April.  For the last two years, I have cried on the days leading up to their birthday as well as on the actual day.  I think it may be easier this year since they are older and doing so well, but the memories remain.  The memories of insurmountable fear and heartache and worry and helplessness and more fear.  The fear on that day only led to more fear and worry for the 4 1/2 months they spent in the NICU.  Just as I look back on Brenna's birthday as being one of the best days of my life, I look back on Camdyn and Cade's birthday as being the worst day of my life, and it feels so all mixed-up.  I hope I can surprise myself this year by feeling only joy that my one pound babies will be turning 3.

Lots to Say

Camdyn and Cade are both talking so much more now.  I am absolutely loving their new language skills.  They both have a lot to say.  Here are a few of my favorite phrases/stories:

They ask for "cookie horsies" and "nola baas" all the time.  For those who don't speak their language, that is animal cookies and granola bars.

They both ask for "ugg-kiss" before bedtime which is the sweetest thing ever! (a hug and a kiss)

Camdyn is constantly twirling around or flipping while telling me "wook Mommy".

They both love watching the construction on the new house next to us.  They look out the window and constantly ask me, "What the mans doin'?"  I told Cade they were working.  He looked at me and said, "nooo - mans playin'"  To a two year old boy, building a house equals playtime.

Cade's preschool teacher was showing him a picture of her 16 year old son on her keyring.  She explained to him that was her baby just like he was mommy's baby.  She said he looked at her like she had lost her mind and told her, "That not a baby - that a MAN!"  I think it crushed her a little bit for her baby to be called a man.

I was singing "Mommy's little baby is Camdyn, Camdyn" to the tune of "Shortnin' Bread".  She stopped me right there with a very serious look to tell me, "my not a baby".  I then turned to Cade and said, "Can you be Mommy's baby?"  He frankly told me, "no, I a big boy."  What?  I had twins; can't one of them agree to being my baby?  Brenna told me she would be my baby, so I felt much better to have at least one "baby".

Camdyn's crib faces a window, and Cade's is on the other side of the room against the wall.  I heard them talking one morning across the room.  Cade kept asking Camdyn, "Hey, Cammy, what you lookin'?"  She wasn't giving him any information so he kept on asking.

Another morning I heard them talking across the room from their cribs.  The conversation went like this:

Cade: "Cammy, what you want eat?
Camdyn: "my want cookie"
Cade: "OK - (chomp, chomp, chomp noises) . . . I eat you cookie"
Camdyn: "noooo bubba - my cookie"

Ha!  He was tormenting his sister even from across the room in the confines of their cribs with an imaginary cookie.  Poor Camdyn!

Cade has recently begun to tell stories - sort of.  He starts, "One day - (mumble, mumble)" and then repeats "one day - . . ."  on and on and on.  

When Camdyn was having trouble with speech, she wouldn't really tell me "I love you" but I knew that her sweet kisses meant it.  After she gave me a kiss, I would tell her "I love you too baby." Now, when I give her a kiss, she tells me "wuv oo too Mommy!"  It truly melts my heart.