Saturday, January 21, 2012

Wake Up "Carpe Diem" Mom and Smell the Roses!

This article written by an exhausted mom who gets annoyed at older women telling her she should "Carpe Diem" has been floating around e-mails and Facebook a lot lately.  I'm in a minority of people who think this article is really annoying based on all the likes and shares it has received.  I'm sure my view is biased by several factors.

She talks about how she can't wait to put her children to bed at night and how she only has fleeting thoughts of thankfulness throughout her crazy day.  I dare say her opinion and views would change significantly if she were ever faced with a medically fragile child.  

When I found Cade and Camdyn sitting on our front door step because Cade had figured out how to open the door and Camdyn followed him outside, I stopped in my tracks.  I didn't know if I should be happy or mad.  I was thrilled he had the mental capacities, fine motor skills, and gross motor skills to do this.  Again, when I found them sitting picnic-style with a box of cereal spread all over the kitchen floor eating Cheerios off the floor, I didn't know if I should be mad or happy.  After all, that meant they had to open the pantry door, pull the cereal off the shelf, open the box lid, and proceed to pour out the contents.  Those are fantastic fine motor skills.  To top it off, they sat there EATING and enjoying it.  After more than a year of feeding tubes, there sat my son happily eating Cheerios off the floor.  I was elated!

This author most likely never saw her one pound baby with tubes and wires covering every inch of her 11 inch body.  She probably has never watched her son nearly die while neo-natalogists bag him in a last ditch effort to get him to breathe.  She hasn't been told her son may need a tracheostomy for life nor viewed x-rays of her daughter's collapsed lungs.  She didn't hold her breath while her one pound babies underwent heart surgeries.  She probably hasn't wept over brain bleeds.  She never had to face the decision of administering potent steroids in hopes of weaning her children from ventilators not knowing what long-term effects those drugs would have.  She probably has never dealt with the news that her children may be blind, deaf, and/or unable to walk.  She most likely has never pleaded with God to let her children live.

 I'm not saying I go through my day in an endless state of happiness, but I am abundantly thankful every day for my kids.  I understand the stresses of parenting.  I have a four year old and twin one year olds.  I get it, but unlike this author, I know that things could have turned out very differently and I may not have had the opportunity for this amount of craziness in my life.  My older daughter often tells her baby dolls, "You're making me crazy!" because she has heard Mommy say that multiple times.  I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed, but overall, I welcome the craziness.  It means that my kids are busy and getting into things and making messes and most importantly, alive!  I "Carpe Diem" every crazy moment. 


Jessi said...

Yes! I agree. I read the article and was kind of "meh" about it all. I just wasn't applicable to my life.

Stacey B. said...

I actually took away something completely different from the article and really enjoyed it!

Dave and Elaine said...

New reader here :)
I just wanted to say thanks for writing this. That article didn't sit well with me either. After infertility, I CHERISH my two daughters (both adopted)! Yes, my life has crazy moments with a 2yo and 6mo but I dont take ANYTHING for granted with them because there was a time when I didn't know if I would ever be a mother.

Donna Mossholder said...

@Stacey B....I think that is Michelles point though. Most people have never been through what Michelle or myself or other parents of severely sick, disabled, or terminally ill children have and so they dont really realize just how lucky they are and they get aggravated at small things, like kids getting into a box of cheerios and spilling it, or the authors example of her daughter trying on a bra in me I would have been cracking up laughing, not exhausted and and frazzled, but that is because both Michelle and I have perspective and we can laugh at the small things that most people think are big deals......We both know how much worse it could be....