Wednesday, May 26, 2010

7 Weeks Old

Cade and Camdyn holding hands for the first time. Camdyn's hand is on top of Cade's hand. Their hands have grown so much. I included pictures of their hands at 1 week old at the end of the post to show how much they have grown.

Here I am finally holding my twins together at 7 weeks old (5/24). It was incredible to hold my 2 little angels at the same time. They are so sweet and precious. I think they enjoyed being together again for the first time since birth. They just cuddled up together right away and looked so content.

Daddy holding Cade for the first time (5/22). I think Cade is going to look like his Daddy.

Here's a close shot of them on my chest. I think they liked being together again after 7 weeks of separation. Look how much hair Cade has (on the left).

They both really like their pacifiers. They're so cute holding their pacifiers right next to each other.

Here they are all cuddled up against me. Cade is on the left in the picture, and Camdyn is on the right. You can see that he is quite a bit bigger than her. I felt like I had so much baby on me, but then I realized that their combined weight was the weight of a single preemie - about 5 lbs.

I just love this picture of my two sweeties.

Camdyn wearing clothes for the first time. The nurse had to look for the smallest preemie outfit they had in the NICU, and it's too big for her.

Cade wearing a preemie sized onesie. It just swallows him. He is getting to be a bigger boy though. He was moved from a size small to a size medium head gear that holds the CPAP mask on. He has also moved from the micro-preemie sized diaper to a preemie-sized diaper. It goes 3/4 of the way up his back though, so he is still growing into his new "big boy" diaper. It's not the one shown in the pictures above.

Camdyn's tiny hand at 1 week old.

Cade's little hand at 1 week old.

Cade has reached the 3 lb. mark! He now weighs 3 lbs. 1 oz. Camdyn now weighs 2 lbs. 6 oz. They are both getting so much bigger. They are doing very well with tolerating their feeds and gaining weight. They are still pretty high on their oxygen needs. Camdyn is usually between 30-40%, and Cade is usually between 45-55%. We are really hoping that they will soon begin to require less oxygen.

The raffle ticket sales are almost over. A winner will be drawn on June 5 (their 2 month birthday). Bridget asked me to remind those selling tickets to turn them into her before June 5. Thanks to all of you who have bought and sold tickets.

Brenna's school ends this week. I am looking for anyone who would like to help watch her on Tues. or Thurs. for a while so I can go to the hospital. I've been going while she was in school. I would need someone to watch her from about 10-2:30. If I have anyone who wants to help out on a particular date, that would be great. If not, I will take her to Wanna Play drop-in childcare for a few hours.

God, we pray for Cade and Camdyn's continued growth. We pray for their lungs to heal and get stronger allowing them to need less assistance breathing. We thank you for each beautiful moment we get to share with them. We pray for them to continue to grow stronger and healthier every day. Amen.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

How am I doing?

I have mostly just put updates about the babies on here. I will be posting another update on the babies next. People are always asking me, "So, how are you doing?" I usually just say something short and simple like "good", "pretty good", or "hanging in there" because I'm not sure if they are really asking me how I am or just saying "hi" as in "Hi, how are you?" Besides it would take much too long to really say how I am doing. So, I thought I would blog it instead. That way, if you actually want to take the time to read this long post, you can, and if not, skip to the next one about my sweet babies.

How am I doing? Well, I'm feeling so many contradictory feelings that it is quite a complicated answer. So here's how I am feeling. I'm feeling:

Thankful - I am thankful that my babies are alive and doing as well as they are. I must remember to give thanks for all they have already overcome.

Weak - I don't particularly like the phrase, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Who would want to handle this? Why would God give me (or anyone for that matter) this to handle in the first place? He made it so that babies are supposed to stay in the womb for 40 weeks. He didn't make babies to be ready to come into this world at 24 weeks. I don't want to handle this. I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be the one to tell some other unfotunate mother who delivers way too early in the future that we have been there and understand what she is going through. I want to be weak sometimes. I want to cry sometimes.

Angry - I feel angry. You can't help but ask, "Why me?" (not that I would want it to be anyone else either) I've learned that pre-term labor can just happen. I did everything right. I don't drink or smoke or do drugs. I took my pre-natal vitamins. I went to my appointments every 2 weeks. I ate well. I exercised appropriately. Etc. Etc. Etc. And, it makes me feel really awful when people say maybe I was doing too much. I wasn't doing too much. My doctor assured me that regular activity/exercise was good for the pregnancy.

Disappointed - I am disappointed that I have lost the dream of what my twin pregnancy was supposed to be like and the dream of the delivery I wanted. I dreamed of carrying my twins for a long time and having a beautiful birth resulting in two healthy, big babies that would come home with me shortly after their birth.

Hopeful - I am hopeful that everything will turn out beautifully. I am hopeful that they will have few to no complications from their very early arrival.

Worried - I worry about them every day. I worry about their days ahead in the NICU as well as any long-term complications.

Conflicted - I feel conflicted about spending my time in the NICU and spending my time at home with Brenna. They need me, but she does too. When I'm there, I feel like I should be with Brenna, and when I'm home, I feel like I should be with the babies.

Loved/Supported - All of our family and friends have been so overwhelmingly supportive. I want to thank everyone of you who have helped us with donations, selling raffle tickets, organizing fundraisers, bringing meals, watching Brenna, and so much more. We feel very loved and supported by all of you.

Joyous - I feel joy when I look at my sweet, precious babies and think of what miracles they are.

Speaking of miracles, it drives me crazy when I hear new moms say their baby is such a miracle. (By the way, I did the same thing with Brenna.) It's only now that I have realized the true meaning of that word. Brenna was a beautiful blessing. All babies are blessings sent from God, but only some people get to be miracles. People who have survived brain tumors, cancer, other serious medical issues, or in their case, babies born prematurely. Unless your life has been at stake and you have overcome insurmountable odds, you just don't get to be called a miracle.

Surreal - I feel like my entire life is surreal right now. I often think this can not be real. I want to wake up and be pregnant still. I see the maternity clothes I had bought for my last trimester still hanging unworn in my closet. I still get the pregnancy e-mails that tell me what my babies look like and are doing inside my womb each week.

Exhausted - I feel completely exhausted, physically and emotionally. I am tired of pumping all day long. Even though I love going to see my babies, I am tired of driving to and from the hospital every day. I am just exhausted!

Traumatized - When I think of the twins' birth day, I feel traumatized. I have never experienced anything as traumatic as their birth. When I watch Grey's Anatomy and see them rushing someone in a hospital bed down the halls yelling, "Prepare the OR", I think that was me in that bed not that long ago. I read that some women who have experienced a traumatic birth can actually have post-traumatic stress disorder, especially if they felt at any time that their life or their baby's life was in danger. I don't feel like I am that traumatized, but I definitely feared for my babies' lives.

Peaceful - There is no greater peace than holding two precious preemies on your chest skin to skin. I feel like I am holding two little pieces of heaven. They are just about as close to coming from heaven as you can get on this earth.

Blessed - I feel blessed to be given Cade and Camdyn. What precious miracles from above sent for me to love and cherish!

So, next time you see me and ask me "How are you doing?", I'll most likely just stick to "good", "pretty good", or "hanging in there". It's just so much easier.

Saturday, May 22, 2010


The babies are busy growing. I am so proud of them. They are now given extra protein added to their milk. It's kind of like they are getting those protein shakes with extra calories that body builders drink. Camdyn gained 2 ounces last night. She now weighs 2 lbs. 2 oz. which means she has gained 1 whole pound since birth! Cade gained another ounce last night. He now weighs 2 lbs. 12 oz. He is growing really fast.

Their oxygen needs have gone back up. We were told to expect that after they have been on CPAP for a while. Since they have to do the work of breathing on their own even though they get extra help from the machine, their bodies and lungs get tired. They are both usually in the 40-50 range on oxygen. I hope that their growth will help them gain the strength they need to continue on CPAP and lower their oxygen needs. If they get just too tired and require a lot of oxygen, they will be put back on the ventilators to rest for a while, but we are hoping that won't be necessary.

God, thank you for their continued growth. We are thankful that they are tolerating their feeds so well and getting bigger every day. We ask that you give their little bodies the strength to stay on CPAP and not need as much oxygen. Continue to strengthen them and heal them. In your name we pray, Amen.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Camdyn is 2 lbs!

Here's a cute picture of big sis. This is her dance recital costume. She finally cooperated for pictures. Last year she just laid on the floor.

It's a little strange that I am posting a picture of my chest here, but if you look close you can see Camdyn's hand print on me. This was after kangarooing; she must have been laying on her hand against me. I think this is so cute; she really has left her imprint on me figuratively and literally.

Cade holding mommy's hand. He has grown so much. His hands are starting to look "big" to me.

Aunt Bridget using containment touch with Camdyn. She loves this.

Camdyn sucking on her pacifier. The pacifier is huge next to her, but she does suck on it. It is so precious.

Well, Camdyn finally reached her 2 lb. mark. I am so proud of my tiny girl. They are now 1 1/2 months old, and she just reached 2 lbs. Cade is growing like a big boy. He now weighs a strapping 2 lbs. 10 oz. They are both still on CPAP and doing pretty well with it. Their oxygen needs usually fluctuate between 30s to 40s. Camdyn is sometimes in the 20s. Right now they are mostly just working on growing. Their feeds have been increased to 18 mL for Camdyn and 24 mL for Cade. They do have brady and apnea spells where they forget to breathe and their heart rate drops. They usually have to be stimulated to remember to breathe; sometimes they come right back up on their own. This is just part of being premature. As their lungs get more mature, they will grow out of it.
Thank you Lord for Camdyn reaching her 2 lb. mark and for Cade continuing to gain weight. Help their lungs heal and get stronger so they will need even less support from the CPAP machine. We thank you that they are tolerating their feeds well and ask that they continue to do so as their feeds are increased. Continue to give us strength as we cope with their long NICU stay. Amen.

Monday, May 17, 2010

6 weeks old


We had good news today. Both of their brain ultrasounds came back with no changes which means nothing is getting worse. They won't look cleared up for a long time because it takes time for it to do so. The main thing is that there were no changes. We are so thankful that there were no negative changes. I feel like I can breathe a little better now. It was really hard waiting these two weeks to get these scans again. NICU time is the slowest, most drawn-out time imaginable when you are waiting for test results.

I did get to hold both babies today again. I absolutely love holding them next to me. Now, I am looking forward to the day that I am able to hold both of them at the same time. They probably are too. They haven't seen their twin in 6 weeks. I think they miss each other. I also can't wait until they are able to be put in the same bed together and cuddle up. It is going to be so sweet.

Today, they are 6 weeks old. Cade now weighs 2 lbs. 8 oz., and Camdyn now weighs 1 lb. 14 oz. Cade has now gained 1 whole pound from his birth weight. Camdyn is growing a little more slowly. She only has 2 ounces more though to get to her 2 lb. mark. Hopefully, she'll earn her 2 lb. sign soon.

I have to thank Jennifer for adding the music player to my blog for me. I wanted to put this song on here because I find it very uplifting. They played it in church last Sunday, and I felt like it was being sung for me. It reminded me that God is holding us up "through the storm." It also let me know that this "storm" is not permanent and I have so much to look forward to with the lyrics, "I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on - a glorious light beyond all compare." I hope that you all find it uplifting too, and maybe it will give you some encouragement with whatever "storms" you are facing in your life.

Thank you God for good results on their brain scans today. We thank you that they are doing as well as they are. We thank you for their growth. We ask for you to continue to bless them, heal them, and make them strong. In your name we pray, Amen.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Holding Our Twins

Jimmy and I holding both babies at the same time for the first time (5/15). We had waited so long to be able to hold them both. It was amazing, and it made it very real that we actually have twins!
This is called kangaroo care. The babies lay against us skin to skin. It is supposed to be very good for the babies, and it is also very good for us. I can't think of anything more heavenly!

Here's my adorable "big girl" (as she likes to call herself) holding her twin baby dolls. Isn't she so cute? Her baby dolls are about the size of Camdyn and Cade. In fact, her baby dolls may be slightly bigger.

Jimmy taking Cade's temperature. We are now able to help with their care during their assessment times. We are able to take their temperatures and change their tiny diapers. You wouldn't think we would be so excited about changing diapers, but when you haven't been able to care for and parent your own children for such a long time, it's pretty exciting. Jimmy was even able to help with Cade's bath today. I am so jealous, but I did get to hold both of my babies for a long time today.

Daddy holding Camdyn for the first time. I just love this picture. Camdyn looks so comfortable on her Daddy. Notice how tiny she is compared to his hands. He is holding all of her in his hands; the rest is just the blanket.
By the way, the CPAP machine looks much worse than it actually is. It is actually just a tiny mask that goes over their nose and the tubing that provides the air. The other part just holds it in place so that they can't take it off. They both do try really hard to get it off though. They don't realize they're little and need it.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

a beautiful day!


Today was a great day. I got to hold Cade twice today. I went in for a while during the day and was able to hold him once then. Later, Jimmy and I went back. He was able to hold Camdyn for the first time, and I was able to hold Cade again. So, we got to hold both of our babies. It made it very real that we actually have twins! It was absolutely amazing for us to finally be able to hold both babies at the same time. It has now been 40 days. We also got to hear Camdyn cry a tiny bit for the first time. It was so cute. What an amazing day with so many firsts!

Camdyn has been in the 20s on her oxygen, and Cade has been in the 30s on his. They are both doing much better. Their lungs are starting to show some improvement. Camdyn has lost a little weight as a result of the steroid, but they have added protein to her milk to help her gain weight. She was down to 1 lb. 11 oz. from 1 lb. 14 oz. She gained an ounce back tonight after receiving protein today, so she is at 1 lb. 12 oz. Cade now weighs 2 lb. 5 oz.

God, I am so thankful that are sweet precious babies are doing much better now. Continue to bless them and strengthen them. I feel blessed to now be able to hold our little miracles. We ask for you to help them gain weight and to help heal their lungs. Amen.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

a great day!


We have had a great day today! They both are responding very well to the drug. Cade and Camdyn have both been moved to CPAP and are doing great on it. They are both in the 30s on their oxygen. We are thrilled! It finally feels like we are moving in the right direction and making some progress.

I even got to hold Camdyn again today. I was going to let Jimmy because he still hasn't held either of them, but he didn't want to hold her because he had come straight from work. Since we hold them skin to skin, he didn't feel like he was clean enough. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity. It is amazing to hold them. They are just so tiny. I can feel the warmth of their body against me, but I can hardly feel the weight of them. We were able to hear Camdyn make a few noises. We still haven't heard them actually cry yet. I asked the nurse when they would cry, and she said as soon as they realize they can. I can't wait to hear it. For most births, you hear your baby cry a few seconds after they are born. We have been waiting over 5 weeks. This long process does make us treasure every moment and every milestone so much more.

God, we pray for continued progress for Cade and Camdyn. We ask for you to strengthen their lungs, help them grow, keep them free from infection, and allow their brains to develop well. We thank you for guiding their medical team and for allowing them to respond so well to the medicine. In your name we pray, Amen.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Our neighbor, Sarah, made this cute 1 month birthday banner. She hung it on our front porch. I thought that was so nice. Brenna had to strike a pose in front of it.

Cade's tiny foot - so cute!

Here I am holding my precious baby boy after waiting 33 days to hold him. Look how much he likes it. I can't wait to hold both of my babies all the time.

Jimmy and I looking at our little miracle baby boy, Cade.

a difficult decision


I have not posted in a while because I have been preoccupied with worrying myself sick. We were faced with a very difficult decision, and it's all I could think about non-stop for a few days. The doctors presented us with the option of trying a steroid called dexamethasone which acts as an anti-inflammatory to clear up their lungs. This in turn would hopefully help get them off the ventilators and lower their O2 needs. In most cases when this is used, babies are able to get off the ventilators relatively soon and on to CPAP and nasal cannula. On the ventilators, their lungs are being essentially pounded and damaged and the risk of serious eye problems is increased as well as the risk for other infections. So, of course, we really want them to be off the ventilators. It seems like an easy choice, except the drug carries its own array of risks. Years ago the drug was used in much greater amounts for longer periods of time (4-6 weeks). With these long-course treatments, kids who had received this steroid had long-term effects such as stunted growth, neurologocial problems, and motor development issues. Now, they do short course treatments (5-7 days) with much smaller doses. They do not believe that the long term effects will be seen with the short course treatments. It seems that the drug was overused and abused because at the time, they did not realize its potency and long term effects. The only problem is that there are very few studies of the short course treatments and the long term effects because they have only been doing this for a few years. Unfortunately, our babies and babies like ours will be the ones studied. So, how are you supposed to be able to make a decision like that?

After much thought, we decided to go ahead and try the steroid. I talked to 2 of the most experienced neo-natologists at our hospital, called a neo-natologists at Dell Children's hospital, and researched it non-stop on the internet the past few days. All three doctors said they would try the steroid course of action in this situation. One of our doctors said that he thought they would probably be on the ventilators another month without the drug and that although we were worried about neurological delays, they would suffer neurological delays spending another month intubated, not being able to be held frequently and not being able to start nippling and/or eventually breastfeeding. He stated that all of those things are also nuerologically stimulating and important for babies. Instead of waiting to see and letting their lungs be exposed to more damage, we decided that we would go with the drug.

Do you know the feeling you have when you wake up from a dream and for just a second, you aren't quite sure if you are dreaming or awake? I have that feeling, but it's not just a second, it's days that turn into weeks that turn into months. I actually sometimes question if this can be real. Surely, it's not. Then I realize that the nightmare is reality, and the dream is wishing it were not. I keep wanting to wake up, and then I realize I am awake; this is real.

God, give our sweet babies the strength to come off the ventilators successfully. Allow the medicine to help them as much as possible. We ask for you to heal their lungs and keep them free from infection. Help them to know that they have so many people ready to shower them with love. Give us the strength to get through this most difficult time in our lives. With you, all things are possible. In your name we pray, Amen.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

In My Arms

I was able to hold my sweet baby boy yesterday (5/7) for the first time. It felt so wonderful for him to be in my arms. He loved being held. I think he might be the one who likes being held and cuddled more. He was high satting the whole time I was holding him. I did not want to let them put him back in the isolette when they came to put him up. I had waited 33 days to get to hold him, and I wasn't ready to stop holding him. Luckily, one of us gets to hold one of them each day now. Sadly, we can only hold them for about 30 minutes. I look forward to being able to hold them whenever I want and for however long I want, but I am grateful that I finally got to hold each one of my precious babies.

This long, hard road has taught me to be thankful for so many things. When I was under observation in labor & delivery, the doctor had to write orders for me to be able to take a shower. Now, in the NICU, the doctor had to write orders for me to be able to hold my babies. Taking a shower and being able to hold your baby should be things we are just able to do whenever we want. When your life is normal, you don't need special permission to do these ordinary things.

Update - Camdyn and Cade are both still on the conventional ventilators, but I think they will be moved to CPAP soon. They have been doing pretty well on these for the past few days. Neither of them has any more IV, PICC, or PAL lines anymore. They do have to get their heel poked twice a day to get blood to test oxygen saturations. They don't like this at all. They make a grimace on their faces and look really mad. They aren't able to cry because of the feeding tube, but they let the nurses know that they don't like it. It's really sad to watch. At the same time, it is probably more comfortable for them overall not to have any lines in their arms or legs.

Cade is gaining weight pretty quickly now. He now weighs 2 lbs. 4 oz. He only has 4 more ounces to go to make the goal of 1 pound gained. Camdyn now weighs 1 lb. 10.8 oz. She tends to gain weight a little more slowly than Cade. Her new goal is to reach the 2 lb. mark too. They both look completely different from a month ago. They have filled out so much more. It is amazing to watch them grow. I can actually see their grow from day to day.

Thank you God for sending me these precious angels. As hard as this is, they make me see life in a whole new way. I am thankful that I finally got to hold them in my arms. I am also thankful for their weight gain and pray that they continue to tolerate feedings well and gain more weight. I pray that they will come off the ventilators soon and do well on CPAP. Give them strength and comfort as they continue to fight and grow. Amen.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My Sweet Babies - Photos

I finally got to hold Camdyn after one month of waiting. It was absolutely heavenly to feel her precious little body against me.

Here I am holding my sweet, precious baby girl. She is holding my finger with her tiny hand.

Here's my sweet baby boy, Cade. I think he is sleeping here. He is usually tyring to kick and squirm all over the place.

Cade earned his 2 lb. sign a few days ago. I was so proud of his growth.

Cade waving for the camera

This is a picture of Cade laying on his tummy. His hair is already so long. He's going to need a hair cut when he comes home!

This is a picture of Jim's hand around Camdyn's head. His hand looks giant next to her. The spot on her back is actually glue from her incision from the PDA surgery. It will come off on its own, and we are told that the scar will be so tiny that you will have to search for it. It looks a lot worse than it actually is. When you look through the glue, you can only see a faint line where the incision was. It's pretty amazing.

Camdyn holding Mommy and Daddy's fingers

Camdyn wearing our wedding rings on her arm. Notice how big the rings are on her arm.

Here she is wearing our rings on her foot. We are going to get pictures with Cade wearing Jim's ring, but right now he has too many lines in to get the pictures. We're hoping he gets some lines out soon.

Tears of Joy!

Today, I finally got to cry tears of joy for the first time in a month. Today is the twins 1 month birthday, and it was a great day! Both had good, stable days. Cade is still on the high side on his oxygen, but they were able to lower his ventilator settings.

And here's the best news . . . Camdyn was doing so well today that I finally got to hold her for the first time. It took four nurses and the doctor to move her from the isolette to my chest with all the tubes, but once she was positioned, it was the most amazing feeling. Even though I have seen how tiny she is for the last month, it was still unbelievable to see just how small she was against me. The overwhelming feeling of joy is really not something I can put into words. I can't wait to get to hold her again, and I wait anxiously to get to hold Cade in my arms too.

Cade was so cute when I was holding Camdyn. He was high satting (meaning needing less oxygen) and trying to be a "good boy" to prove that he was ready to be held too. I think he was a little jealous. He is going to have to be a little more stable for me to be able to hold him. It will be so great when Jimmy and I are both able to hold each of them without so many tubes and lines.

They have come so far in the last month, but I know they have a very long road still in front of them. We pray everyday for them to have the strength to fight the battles in front of them and we praise God that they have overcome the challenges behind them. At the end of our table prayer, we add "and we pray for Camdyn and Cade to get strong and healthy". Brenna has memorized this, so she says "and we pway for Camdyn and Cade to get stwong and helfy". It is really sweet and adorable.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Progress & Worry

Cade and Camdyn are now both on the conventional ventilators. Cade is requiring a little more assistance (rate of 30 breaths/minute assisted). His O2 is now around 50%. Thankfully, he no longer jumps around from withdrawals. He looks a lot more relaxed, and when he does move around, it's just because he wants to stretch or kick. Cade's head ultrasound showed no more signs of a head bleed, so we are very thankful for that. He will be checked again in 2 weeks just to confirm.

Camdyn just got on the conventional ventilator today. She has been doing well with it so far. She is at a rate of 25, and is at 45% oxygen. She is starting to fill out a little. Camdyn's head ultrasound showed some signs of white matter, so she will be checked again in 2 weeks. The doctor told us it is still in the normal range, but it is something they will need to watch. So, again, if one isn't worrying us, the other is. The waiting game is really difficult. When you think you have reached a point where you can breathe, you realize you have to hold your breath all over again. And 2 weeks in the NICU feels like an eternity.

We hope that both of them will get to move to CPAP soon. And, of course, we are praying for good head scans when they are repeated in 2 weeks. I hope you all will continue to pray with us for the health of our babies. May God continue to make Cade and Camdyn stronger and healthier every day. Amen.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Cade is 2 lbs 1 oz!

Finally, we have some good news on Cade. He has reached his 2 lb goal. Last night he weighed 2 lbs. 1 oz! We were so excited about his weight gain. He looks so much bigger. Cade has also been moved to a conventional ventilator instead of the oscillating ventilator. This ventilator allows him to take breaths on his own while supporting those breaths and also gives him some breaths. Babies take anywhere between 45-60 breaths on average per minute. Of those breaths, the ventilator gives him 15 breaths right now, so he is breathing the rest on his own. So, he is moving in the right direction. When he needs less support, he will be moved to CPAP.

Camdyn, on the other hand, had a rough time last night. They really have been taking turns stressing us out and keeping us up at night worrying. She did get fatigued on CPAP and had to be moved back to the oscillating ventilator. The problem was that she was fluctuating drastically on her oxygen needs from 21-100% all night long. They finally found settings that she liked, so she has been stable all day. She is back down to 30-40%. The problem is that she doesn't really like the oscillator so she gets agitated, but she needs it still because she is too tiny to stay on the CPAP. So, once she puts on some weight, I think she will do much better on CPAP.

Tonight we should be able to sleep better because both babies seem to be doing well on their ventilators and oxygen needs. I am praying for a good night for both of them, continued growth, and stronger lungs.

Tomorrow is their 4 week birthday!