Back in April, I told Jimmy that I wish I could just fast forward time. I remember saying that I wanted it to be Christmas or next spring already - anything but the time that we were in. That time was too difficult. That time was filled with too much stress, too much worry, and way too many tears. I didn't want to walk through it; I didn't think I could do it. I told him I just wanted to fast forward, and I would deal with whatever the babies' outcomes were at that time. It was just too difficult to worry every second of every day not knowing what would happen. I clearly remember him telling me that I would miss out on seeing what little fighters we have if I were just able to fast forward. As hard as those days were, he was right. Our little miracles showed me every day how strong their spirit was in their weak, frail bodies. Now that it is Christmas, I can look back and see that I would have missed so much if I had been able to push fast forward on our lives. Those days were certainly the hardest days that anyone could ever imagine, but this experience has changed how I see and appreciate life. We were told that if they survived, they may not be able to see, hear, move, think, and on and on, so you can imagine how precious each of these things becomes when it is in question. Fortunately, many parents never have to think twice about whether or not their children will be able to do these things.
Do you see what I see?
When I see my children gazing into my eyes, I see the gift of sight and feel so blessed that my children are able to see!
When I see my babies roll over or kick their legs, I feel blessed that they are able to move.
When I see my babies reach up to touch my face, I am overjoyed that they have the congnizance to recognize their mother.
When I see them trying to figure out how to reach a toy or how it works, I am thankful that they can think.
When I see my children smile, my heart smiles to know that they are happy.
Do you hear what I hear?
When I see them look toward me when I am singing to them, I feel blessed that they can hear!
When I hear my children laugh, I feel that I am witnessing a little piece of heaven.
When I hear the doctors say they are amazed at how well our babies are doing, I know what it is like to be given a miracle (X2)!
When I hear Brenna singing to the babies, I am filled with joy.
Do you know what I know?
I know that I am blessed to have supportive family and friends.
I know that miracles exist.
I know that when you are told it is impossible, God knows that it is possible.