Happy Birthday Brenna!

It's hard to believe that my baby girl turned 6 today.  I still vividly remember those chubby cheeks of hers, and now she is all skinny arms and legs that go on forever.  Her party isn't until Saturday, so she was a bit confused when I told her that she wasn't having a party today.  She said, "but it's my birthday, right?"  To a 6 year old, "birthday" means one thing and that's "a party".  It does not mean the day you were born and all that sentimental remembering like it does for mom.

Here's Brenna before school this morning.  She was so excited to go to school on her birthday because she knew she would get to wear a birthday hat, be the line leader, and all the other special things that being the birthday kid entails.
 

 Brenna is the sweetest big sister (to Camdyn that is).  She is always helping her and looking out for her.  It's very sweet.  On the other hand, she is usually yelling at Cade to leave her stuff alone which he rightly deserves.

I went to Brenna's school to eat lunch with her for her birthday.  She and her best friend share the same birthday, so they both got to sport the cool birthday hats.  

She had a great day today, and I know she is excited about her party this weekend.  The only bad part of her day was twisting her ankle in her tumbling class after school.   I'm praying when she wakes up, it is better.  Even with a hurt ankle, we enjoyed the evening eating spaghetti and making a birthday cookie cake.  

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When Brenna's birthday rolls around each year, I reflect back to the time she was born as I'm sure most mothers do on their child's birthday.  I can remember going out to eat before checking into the hospital.  It was scheduled since she didn't want to come out on her own even past her due date.  We had an enjoyable dinner and then checked in.  I had a bag packed and was ready to deliver a healthy baby girl.  The delivery was not ideal due to her swallowing meconium.  Although it felt like a long time, that was quickly resolved, and my baby girl was put in my arms.  Her daddy and I marveled at her beauty and took lots of pictures.  Aside from the meconium, it was a fairly normal birth.  I'm able to look back on it as one of the best days of my life . . .

which brings me to the opposite side - the twins' birth.  Their birthday is approaching in April.  For the last two years, I have cried on the days leading up to their birthday as well as on the actual day.  I think it may be easier this year since they are older and doing so well, but the memories remain.  The memories of insurmountable fear and heartache and worry and helplessness and more fear.  The fear on that day only led to more fear and worry for the 4 1/2 months they spent in the NICU.  Just as I look back on Brenna's birthday as being one of the best days of my life, I look back on Camdyn and Cade's birthday as being the worst day of my life, and it feels so all mixed-up.  I hope I can surprise myself this year by feeling only joy that my one pound babies will be turning 3.