Tuesday, July 30, 2013

All The Things They May Have Never Done . . .

If all had gone according to plan, the twins would have been born in late July - maybe even early to mid July since it was a twin pregnancy.  My due date was July 30.  The twins were not informed of this and instead came 4 months early.  They turned 3 back in April.  April!  That seems like so long ago now that it's over 100 degrees outside.  It is still strange to even imagine they came that early!  

What amazes me even more is that strangers would not know these toddlers were one pound babies.  I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that they had this outcome.  By all odds, it should not have been this way.  I have the strangest sense of "survivor guilt", for lack of a better term, that we had this outcome.  I know so many families who face so many struggles related to prematurity.  I pray for all the families affected by prematurity.

Although I no longer have post-traumatic breakdowns, I still think of their prematurity every single day.  Sometimes I smile.  Sometimes I say a prayer.  Sometimes I hug my babies tight.  On their birthday, due date, and homecoming date, I like to reflect on how far they have come and what an amazing story they will have to tell.

I remember to count my blessings for all the things they may have never done like:

ride around in a little car

act goofy every time mom tries to take a picture

play in the sand with your twin

look up to your big sis

pull your sisters in a little red wagon

eat a chicken leg at a July 4th celebration

ride a bike

play on a playground

dance in a recital

It's all the little things that make life beautiful.  I hope their story can remind others to be grateful for all of life's little blessings.


Andrea Farrell said...

Hi Michelle,

I nominated you for the Liebster Award! Read here for more details: http://thefarrell5.blogspot.com/2013/08/liebster-award.html

Kelly said...

I know what you mean about the weird survivor's guilt. Sometimes I avoid conversations with other preemie moms who have faced more serious complications because I don't feel like I've quite earned the right badges. Then I realize how bizarre I sound.