As you all have read, this whole experience has been quite surreal. I began thinking of all the irony that it presents on a daily basis. So, here's the irony that now seems to surround me. (Not all of these are exactly ironic; some are just interesting thoughts bordering on the side of irony.)
1. I carried Brenna to 41 weeks. I tried everything to get her out - eating Mexican food, walking 2 miles around the neighborhood, acupuncture, and even jumping on a trampoline! She still had to be induced, and I was given Cervadil to thin out my cervix which was not effaced at all. Fast forward 3 years . . . The twins were born at 24 weeks 1 day when my cervix was completely thinned out for no reason. We tried everything to keep them in.
2. We stand by our babies bedsides and say, "Look, how big they are!" (They are now 3 lbs. 12 oz. and 4 lbs. 11 oz. This, by no one's standards, is big.)
3. During those first horrible days, I remember thinking I can relate to the lyrics, "still alive, but I'm barely breathing." I felt like I was just pushing through each day trying somehow to keep going. Later, I realized that these lyrics described the babies too. In fact, they were still alive but not even breathing; the machines were doing that for them.
4. Our babies have three ages. They are about to be 11 weeks old, 35 weeks gestation, and 0 adjusted age.
5. We have Brenna in swim lessons, and she is working on holding her breath under water. The teacher counts for her to see how long she can hold her breath. Camdyn, on the other hand, has apnea spells where she holds her breath for too long. So, we are encouraging Brenna to hold her breath and want Camdyn to stop holding her breath.
6. We will eventually be bringing home 4 month old newborns.
I'm sure there are several more ironic situations that will present themselves in the days to come. Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves that this is our reality for now.