In My Arms

I was able to hold my sweet baby boy yesterday (5/7) for the first time. It felt so wonderful for him to be in my arms. He loved being held. I think he might be the one who likes being held and cuddled more. He was high satting the whole time I was holding him. I did not want to let them put him back in the isolette when they came to put him up. I had waited 33 days to get to hold him, and I wasn't ready to stop holding him. Luckily, one of us gets to hold one of them each day now. Sadly, we can only hold them for about 30 minutes. I look forward to being able to hold them whenever I want and for however long I want, but I am grateful that I finally got to hold each one of my precious babies.

This long, hard road has taught me to be thankful for so many things. When I was under observation in labor & delivery, the doctor had to write orders for me to be able to take a shower. Now, in the NICU, the doctor had to write orders for me to be able to hold my babies. Taking a shower and being able to hold your baby should be things we are just able to do whenever we want. When your life is normal, you don't need special permission to do these ordinary things.

Update - Camdyn and Cade are both still on the conventional ventilators, but I think they will be moved to CPAP soon. They have been doing pretty well on these for the past few days. Neither of them has any more IV, PICC, or PAL lines anymore. They do have to get their heel poked twice a day to get blood to test oxygen saturations. They don't like this at all. They make a grimace on their faces and look really mad. They aren't able to cry because of the feeding tube, but they let the nurses know that they don't like it. It's really sad to watch. At the same time, it is probably more comfortable for them overall not to have any lines in their arms or legs.

Cade is gaining weight pretty quickly now. He now weighs 2 lbs. 4 oz. He only has 4 more ounces to go to make the goal of 1 pound gained. Camdyn now weighs 1 lb. 10.8 oz. She tends to gain weight a little more slowly than Cade. Her new goal is to reach the 2 lb. mark too. They both look completely different from a month ago. They have filled out so much more. It is amazing to watch them grow. I can actually see their grow from day to day.

Thank you God for sending me these precious angels. As hard as this is, they make me see life in a whole new way. I am thankful that I finally got to hold them in my arms. I am also thankful for their weight gain and pray that they continue to tolerate feedings well and gain more weight. I pray that they will come off the ventilators soon and do well on CPAP. Give them strength and comfort as they continue to fight and grow. Amen.